Have you ever felt sad about being single? On episode 3 of the Boyfriends Podcast, the hosts discussed why we tend to feel sad about being single and what to do about it. Jarrod (@jarroddking) and Renee (@renee_vanessa) both shared similar romantic views and experiences, while Melvin (@melvin_foreman) and Sarun (@sarun.nuras) had entirely different experiences and advice.
However, the hosts all came to the same conclusion: it’s okay to be single. It’s understandable to be upset about being single and dating can be really hard in this day and age. When it comes down to it, most people aren’t sad about being single or not having someone; it is often a self-conscious issue.
People ask themselves “Why am I single?” or “Is there something wrong with me?” or “Am I just not attractive or loveable?” It’s important to always keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with you and that it will happen for you––now just might not be this time.
Ditch the Negative Self-talk
Both Jarrod and Renee have never been in real relationships and have been more or less single throughout their lives. While both struggled with negative self-talk, they also know that being single doesn’t define them and that their person is out there. With their experiences, their best advice was to not blame yourself for a lack of romantic relationships.
Find Someone Temporary
Melvin, on the other hand, never felt down about being single. Not necessarily because he was never not single for very long, but because he had confidence in knowing he’d find someone else again. His advice was to find a man you find attractive and want to get to know and just give it a try––even if you know it won’t work out. This could give you that dating experience and make you feel less down about being single.
The hosts then touched on the point of not always looking for “Mr. Right”, but maybe start looking for “Mr. Right Now”. Dating doesn’t always have to be a serious relationship or have a set future in mind. When dating Mr. Right now, get to know them and have fun. Eventually, if it’s meant to be, the “Now” will eventually fade away and you’ll be left with your Mr. Right.
Give Yourself a Distraction
For Sarun, he tends to distract himself with work so any feelings of sadness over being single come in spurts. His strategy is with the more stuff you have going on, the less you’ll think about being single. Distracting yourself with work, hobbies, and special projects can be a great way to forget about being single. This is also a nice way to shift your focus on yourself and bettering who you are as a person.
It’s Okay to Not Want to Be Single
A lot of your friends will tend to give the advice of “You need to love yourself before you can start dating” or “it’s okay to not have a boyfriend, it’s not that important”. But that advice never actually makes us feel better, does it? It’s okay to want to be in a relationship and no longer be single, as long as you’re wanting it for the right reasons.
If you’re wanting to date someone for any type of validation, then you are not dating for the right reasons and that relationship is doomed from the start.
Say it with me, “It’s okay to be single.” Yes, your feelings are valid in being upset over not having a boyfriend, but shifting your focus can definitely help with no longer feeling sad about it. Lean on your friends because they can be your soulmates too. Obviously, they’re not the romantic relationship that you are looking for, but friendships are a type of relationship nonetheless.
Live in the moment and don’t let being single completely define you or bring you down.
For more advice on being sad about being single and to hear what else the hosts had to say about it, be sure to listen to episode 3 of the Boyfriends Podcast.